It’s alive! 10 surgeries & Heidi says give me more.

Somebody just dubbed her the “Frankenstein of the iPod generation,” great line. For the love of Jesus, what was she thinking? Here’s Heidi Montag on the cover of People with her newest new nose, bigger boobs, tucked ears, sucked neck, higher brows, smaller chin, fatter cheeks, new hips, butt and “more.”

The 23-yr. old reality “star” from The Hills just dropped 30k on her new extreme nip-tucked self. She admits she’s addicted to plastic surgery (uh yea) and can’t wait to get more.

Oh Spencer, why didn’t you stop her? Strike that. Heidi’s mom would have stopped her I’m sure, but she didn’t get the chance, as she wasn’t even told. (Imagine being her mom and seeing your all-new girl.)

So ... the post-Heidi? She’s got that Jennifer Grey thing—you know she’s in there somewhere, but can’t quite figure it out.

And ... the new fab Heidi hits just as her new album drops. Well played. Hey, that’s fame. And we may all now remember her name, even if we can’t quite recognize her face.

Sorry Heidi, but boob move, bad message, and, really, you told the world you got a new vajayjay?

Funniest take on Speidi’s Heidi is still Anderson Cooper’s shot last year after her Miss Universe performance, saying. “She tweeted she had so much fun, and she also thanked God. I don’t think God had anything to do with this production.” Click the video below for more.

Oh, and speaking of AC, who’s in Haiti of course, imagine if the holy-rolling Heidi would have used her Hollywood cash for the true down and out’s of the world instead of her continuous how-hot-am-I makeovers? Can I get an amen?

Gotta go give my girl an extra “you’re great just the way you are” hug and smooch.

Sorry, I know there are more important matters in the world as mentioned above, but a little levity helps me keep going.